As winter is overtaken by the spring, I am amazed at how things have changed in just a short period of time.
This time last year I was consumed with preparing for NDA Nationals in Daytona Beach, getting up at 5:30 AM to hit the gym for two hours before classes- six days a week.
Now, I feel like a machine, consumed with creating a human being, and it sucks all of the energy and life out of me. I walk to class and work frequently, but I avoid any added taxation on my energy supply. I still wake up at 6 AM every day, but to finish the homework that I fell asleep to the night before.
Last spring, I walked around and laid out on campus in a bikini. I paid little attention to whether people noticed or not, and really didn't care.
Now, fully clothed, I am stared at everywhere I go, on the bus, in class, at work. Whether its curiosity, or the stink-eye, I can feel it burning, and depending on my mood, I am indifferent, or it frustrates me to tears.
Last year, David and I were swept up in the realization that we were meant to be together, and that no obstacle could keep us apart any longer. We were making wedding plans, and life plans.
We now face obstacles that have no solution. There are no answers to our questions of how to make ends meet, or have enough time to complete all that is set before us. Our insecurity brings us closer, our love being a single unchanging element in our lives.
Friendships have changed, our families have grown, we have matured. And we are certain of only two things, that we must allow the change to shape us into whom we are supposed to be, and that it will never stop; everything will keep changing.
Excited to Tears
1 hour ago