Friday, June 18, 2010

Medical Mystery Solved: A Sad Relief

I have been struggling over whether to write this post. What to share, and what to keep to myself. I don't want people to act weird around me, and I don't necessarily want to talk about it. But I DO want to write about it. I decided to write this, in hopes that being open can help others- in whatever way they need it, and to release this from myself, so that I can let go and deal with it.

I wrote here  about the mystery illness that made me think I was pregnant, but there were a lot of conflicting evidence for and against it...I was SO sick, and I had a lot of testing done to check for other diseases and infections.

In the end, I was pregnant. & I had a miscarriage.

It hasn't been fun. It's been very painful, physically. And disappointing.

But, I am ok. Today I am feeling much better, wholly. I am taking from this experience, and learning, growing, becoming stronger. I am appreciating what I have, and enjoying life.

I will be back on Monday, with more before & afters. I hope you are as excited as I am.

Thank you for all of the sweet messages and the concern! It has meant so much. I love my blogging family! ; )


29 comments:

Sheena Louise said...

Uh, I'm so sorry Caroline. It happened to me once too, about four years ago. I hope you're feeling better!

More Than "Just Mom" said...

I am so, so very sorry Caroline. It is truly devastating to have a miscarriage. I had two within three months. You are doing the right thing by focusing on all the positives, and I will be thinking of you! Take care of yourself.

Vera @ Cozy Little Cabin said...

I am so very, very sorry. Take it easy this weekend & I look forward to seeing you next week.

(((hugs))) to you & your hubby. . .

Vera

Rachel and John said...

I'm so sorry. Glad that you are going to get better though. I bet it's a hard mix of emotions to deal with.

barbie said...

I'm very sorry. Praying for you..

Can't wait to see more pictures.

Christin@Pregnant with power tools said...

I am so sad to hear this Caroline! My thoughts are with you and the fam... a loss like that is one that many of us share with you. There just aren't words...

krista said...

i am so sorry to hear that. i am about to hit the one year mark of my miscarriage, and while i don't cry when i see a pregnant woman anymore, i still think about it a least every other day.

keep your chin up, and let it out. even if it's on your blog.

Mrs. Lukie said...

Oh Caroline, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I hope that you two are able to heal in whatever time it takes.

My heart is with you.

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

oh caroline- i am so sorry to hear that. you will be in my thoughts and prayers this weekend.

Kim's Treasures said...

I'm sooo sorry! I had an early pregnancy miscarriage too, about 26 years ago. It's very sad and very painful like you said. Hugs!

Kim

tessica said...

i'm so sorry to hear that news...i will be thinking of you and yours!

Sheila said...

Caroline,
I am so sorry. Miscarriage is one of those things that you dont know if you should tell or not, I know. I had one 6 months after I was married followed by a beautiful baby girl 3 years later. Then 4 miscarriages after that. I was told that I would have to do fertility treatment if I ever wanted to have another baby. Well, doctors were not so right, because what I thought was the "flu" turned out to be my other beautiful daughter. Keep positive thoughts and take care of yourself. You have every right to feel sad and angry and all the emotions that you need to feel. I remember those days, times just as I remember the birth of my daughters. You will get through this time and hold it close to your heart. Take care~

Rebecca@This Present Life said...

I am very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had an early miscarriage before I got pregnant with my son and it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Take time to grieve and be sad. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

becca said...

i am so sorry for your loss. praying for healing for your body and heart.

Sarah Ann said...

Oh how awful. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I hope that you are able to heal quickly from this and know that while it will always be apart of your life, it will not be always so prominent.
I'm glad you'll be posting more stuff on Monday- I can't wait to see your projects, they're always my favorite.

Sarah @ Picture Window said...

Oh, so sorry to hear about that. You must be experiencing so many confusing emotions. Glad you'll be okay though, and that it sounds like you're on your way to moving forward.

Chuck Singletary said...

We've just got your sad news today - computer problem and got a new modem yesterday. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and David during this very emotional time. So sorry to hear of your ten-day illness. We're thrilled you're feeling better; just take time to grieve and deal with your emotions Remember He's got the whole world in His hands.

Londen @ Sixty-Fifth Avenue said...

Caroline, I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope you get lots of rest this weekend.
Londen
xo

Leah said...

I am so so sorry for your loss! I have had two miscarriages and they were no fun at all. So I def feel your pain. The funny thing is that God totally used them for good becuase the first time, we decided to move and the second time was when I started blogging. I needed the distractions and they ended up being really wonderful things in my life! LUVS!

The Brick Cottage said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Renanda said...

I can't imagine how difficult this must have been for you to share with us. I hope you take it easy and enjoy your family this weekend. I am inspired that you are focusing on the positive.

Take care.

Cate said...

I'm so sorry, Caroline. I've had a couple miscarriages and they were both so hard. I love that you wrote about this, though--the culture of silence surrounding miscarriages just makes them harder.

Hope you're feeling better, and I'm excited for more before-and-afters!

Sarah @ Dream in Domestic said...

I am so sorry to read about that - it's got to be so hard to go through (especially when you are feeling so sick because of it). Thanks for sharing it, even though we completely respect your privacy. I have no idea how you must feel because I've never been through anything like that, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

kittybutt said...

Caroline, I'm so sorry, sweetie! I've known several women in my life who have gone through miscarriages and it was very emotional and physically painful for them as well. I'll be thinking of you and I hope you've had a very restful weekend.
Much love to you, David and Dmitri
Cathy

Jillian said...

I'm so sorry Caroline!! That is such sad news, but you are such a strong person and will get through this tough time! Hugs and positive thoughts your way =)

Much More Than Mommy said...

I wish I could hug you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you are using it for your own good and for the good of others, you are amazing.

Laurel said...

I am so sorry. I just had one myself. I just wrote about it in my blog as well. I can only hope you will start to feel better soon. I know looking forward to my daughter's first birthday that was this past friday helped alot. Also, we are leaving for vacation tomorrow which will help a lot as well.

Take all the time that you need. One day at a time and sometimes it was one hour at a time.

julie said...

Aww, I am so very sorry. Take care.

Katy said...

Catching up on all your posts. So sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage and it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through.