Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Start of Something

With graduating in December, it's taken me the past couple of months to adjust to life as a stay-at-home/work-at-home/needs-a-job mother. My feelings have run the gamete on this shift, from feeling overwhelmed by being with my kids nearly 24/7 to relief from the lack of homework hanging over my head, and many others in between. I've struggled with setting reasonable expectations about my home being clean, laundry, dishes, and making homemade meals. I have felt a little disappointment, because many of the things that I have hoped to do, like blog more, DIY more, renovate my home more, etc. have not happened, primarily because these things are difficult while trying to run a household and take care of two toddlers with or without school. And yet, I have had a lot of time to think, and while I float in my existential crisis, I've wondered what "to-do" with my life post-college. I've contemplated what I want in life, what's important. And while I'm not going to give some incredibly theoretical explanation of my philosophy on life right now (maybe one day), I have been exploring new paths and adventures that I am incredibly excited about. Some of them are little things, and others are quite big. So here is just a little glimpse into the spring saplings that I hope will continue to grow.

Knitting - I have had two of my friends, incidentally both named Rebecca, teach me the basics of knitting. It is something that I have wanted to learn for a while now, and I hope to continue to become more proficient at it. It's incredibly satisfying, because I can take a time that would normally feel unproductive, like watching TV or riding in the car, and I can transform it into a cathartic time of creating by adding a few rows to my scarf. And if you know me very well, you know how I fear and dread un-productivity. Honestly, my original reasons for wanting to knit are probably a little absurd; but I really want to have sheep. And I figured that I couldn't justify having sheep if I didn't know to knit. So once I have a few projects under my belt, and perhaps learn to spin, I hope to be hearing some baaaaaas.... Now that I am learning, I've realized how addicting knitting is, and I'm happy that I'm learning, regardless. But I do think it would be amazing to go from sheep to sweater. Or maybe I'm just a little crazy.

Doula- I completed my doula training when I was 35 weeks pregnant with Damon, last February. Since Damon was born, my certification has been at a standstill. It's hard to attend a labor and birth when you have a baby of your own! Now that he is almost a year (I cannot believe his first birthday is in a week from today!) I have decided to complete my certification. There is a wonderful doula group here in Athens, who have been so supportive of me and are backing me up and helping me through this process. You can check out their website here, Two Bee Birth Services. I have my first two births lined up in April and in June! I am ecstatic, and nervous, and cannot believe it's really happening. I am excited about empowering women through such an intense and beautiful process. And I think that the adrenaline rush of being on call really appeals to me. I like excitement.

Chickens- You've already heard about those in my last post. But I think they are the start of something.

Reading -Since graduating, I have an unbelievably long reading list. It's slow going, though. I'm just so excited with so many other things that I don't sit down and read very often. I haven't figured out how to knit and read at the same time. Oh my goodness, I can just see this image of me knitting and listening to audiobooks. I guess I really am an "old soul". But I digress, I have been reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It is nothing short of amazing. If you haven't read it, you should. I also finished reading First Lessons in Beekeeping. And I have a long list of others still waiting for me.

My blog is my playground- So I have decided that I want to blog more. About everything. And that's what I'm going to do. The end. = )


Clandestine Road said...

I love your journey and I think those existential crises are so important, as they keep us living, not just existing. I'm excited for you with all your things to come.


Kate said...

So happy to be a part of your journey!
Btw - I have an existential crisis about once a month and I still don't know what my long term plan is, but I do like my short term outlook.

Mama Gone Green said...

I love this post, mainly because your thought process is so much like mine. I also love knitting because I can change unproductive time to productive time. And now those guilty-pleasure movies at night are turned into creative moments!
I read Animal Vegetable Miracle a couple of years ago and loved it, although I have read everything by Kingsolver and loved it all!
Excited to hear how your post-graduating journey goes!!

Joybaby said...

Hey, Caroline, I saw a loom at the ReStore last week or week before and it made me think of you. It was pretty old, though. I don't know if it actually worked, cause I don't know about these things. But you might want to check it out.