I'm over half-way through pregnancy # 3! I oscillate between feeling like it has passed very quickly thus far, and yet, feeling like we have known about this little one for so long, and that I am ready to meet him/her. And very frequently, I obsess over whether it is a him or a her.
I'll be honest, the miracle of pregnancy is a little lost on me this third time around. I'm really just here for the baby, and if I could have skipped all of the pregnancy symptoms, I would not have thought twice. I love babies. I hate being pregnant. And since it's my third pregnancy, I am a lot less shy about saying it.
But I digress, little one is moving around in there quite a bit these days, and that makes even a pregnancy-hater like me smile.
I've done a poor (more like, non-existent) job of chronicling this little one's time in utero, so here is a full update with all the little details that I might want to look back on one day.
I stopped vomiting around 15 weeks, finally, but still felt pretty terrible until around 19 weeks. Reaching the half-way mark the week of Christmas had me really feeling up! I was finally feeling less tired, dizzy, nauseous, and pukey, and just a bit more like myself. I still have random waves of nausea in the afternoons from time-to-time, but nothing debilitating. Unfortunately, I am having insane round ligament pain. I have had it with all three pregnancies, but this time, I am at the point of not being able to walk much or pick things up off the floor without being in excruciating pain. I am really looking for ideas on how to cope and minimize the pain. 18 more weeks of it just doesn't sound bearable. And it makes me sad that I have not been up to doing some of the activities that I had hoped to this pregnancy - like prenatal yoga. I'm hoping that I can find a way to manage it enough that I can add this to my weekly routine. But it will all be worth it in the end. I know.
I finally bought a pair of maternity jeans (Gap) at a consignment shop for $9 this past weekend. I have gotten by with borrowing some with my last pregnancy, and having a July baby for my first- I only wore maternity shorts! I have no idea why I have put these off. They are so ridiculously comfortable. I'm also a pretty big fan of my fleece lounge pants (non-maternity, but stretchy). I wear them multiple days in a row around the house. Don't tell.
Boy or Girl?
It's a surprise!
We decided not to find out this time around. I just wanted to do it differently with # 3, and have the experience of waiting until the birth. I am just as much of a planner as anyone, so, I am still obsessing over "if it's a boy, then..." and "if it's a girl, then..." But I love surprises. Even if I am so, very impatient.
I do have this terrible fear that I am going to be disappointed if the baby isn't what I am hoping for. I worry about it a lot- and it's why I found out with Dmitri & Damon. I wanted to have time to process whether it was a boy or girl, and then just be excited about the arrival of my baby. This time, I am trying to console myself with two thoughts 1.) Knowing whether it's a boy or a girl does not change whether it's a boy or a girl. and 2.) When I hold my baby for the very first time, I will not care whether it's a boy or a girl. I will most likely feel nothing but love.
So what do I think it is?! Up until a couple weeks ago, I was pretty sure it was a girl. But now, I am really doubting that and I'm convinced it's a boy. That could possibly change back and forth over the next 18 weeks, and I should probably just stop thinking about it! Haha!
What do the big brothers think?
Dmitri is very excited about having a new baby, and has been since the beginning. At our first midwife appointment, he started crying as we were leaving because we didn't get the baby. He thought we were getting it right then and was very disappointed! He has since come to understand that babies take quite a long time to make, essentially forever in his 3-year-old mind, even though he has tried to convince me that he wouldn't mind if the baby were really teeny tiny- he would still hold it. He frequently comments on my growing belly, and smiles quite a lot about the baby getting bigger. I think he is going to be a very sweet big brother.
Damon is mostly oblivious from what I can tell. He loves babies, and he plays with his baby dolls a lot. Holding them, rocking them, feeding them, kissing them, putting them down for naps in his bed. Considering that he is my wild child, I am frequently and pleasantly surprised by how gentle and compassionate he is. He got really excited about hearing the baby's heart beat (at my 14 week appointment), and whenever he sees my sewing measuring tape, he lifts up his shirt and tries to "measure his belly". It's ridiculously cute. I am a little worried of what he will think of having a new sibling, and I am sure it will be an adjustment. Especially since he is very much mama's baby. But seeing how much love there is between Dmitri and Damon gives me comfort (even though they of course fight like any other siblings!).
We plan to have a home birth with the same midwife that we did with Damon. It was a perfect experience in every way, and I cannot imagine doing it differently.
NamesWe have a boy name picked out. And it does not start with a "D"! We have a list of girl names to choose from. Maybe we will narrow it down, maybe we will wait and see if it's applicable/meet her.
Since this is our third baby, I have a lot of the necessities- like a car seat. And if it's a boy, he will have plenty of clothes. If it's a girl, I will have absolutely no problem shopping for her as soon as she arrives (and we are saving a few Christmas gift cards for this purpose). I have a crib and mattress, but I still need bedding for it. We plan to co-sleep, but I have the crib set up in the guest bedroom for nap time. This is the first time that we've set up a crib, so I am really excited about it - it's so cute! I need a few more newborn diapers, and we might have to get a co-sleeper for everyone to fit in our bed, but otherwise, there isn't a whole lot "to do" as far as preparing.
And so I am trying to be patient. And I am started to get very excited. And I am knitting a teeny tiny hat that makes me smile, no matter how I'm feeling.