Eleanor Blythe: The Birth Story

A little note about my due date. My official due date was May 8th, however, I told most people that it was Mother's Day (May 12th). I hoped that that way the baby would arrive before people started freaking out, obsessively calling and texting me, asking me if I were in labor, and staring at me like I'm a ticking bomb. I also hoped that giving a specific date as opposed to a time frame (with Damon I said I was due the end of March) would prevent certain people from asking me what my due date was every, single, time I saw them for 9 months. I was completely wrong.

On Friday, May 10th, I woke up around 6:00 AM having painful contractions about 8 minutes apart. Thinking that this labor, being a third baby, could go quite quickly, I rushed to jump up and wake David, call my midwife, call our friends who watched our boys, and pack the boys a snack. I noticed that when I was in the kitchen, my contractions felt stronger. But as soon as I went into the rest of the house, they seemed much weaker.  David was a little slow to do my rather long list of to-do's and I started getting pretty flustered with him, all the while he became flustered with Dmitri and Damon who were also moving at their own pace. Finally, around 8:00 AM, David left to take the boys to our friends', and I heaved a sigh of relief. Now, I could focus on my labor, and the work before me of bringing our newest addition into the world. Unfortunately, my uterus heaved a sigh of relief too, and decided that today would be much to stressful of a day to add anything to our family. David was on his way home, childless, and my contractions pitter-pattered to a stop. I texted my midwife, and I decided to take a hike to try to encourage labor to get stronger. More accurately, I decided to waddle down the concrete sidewalk. I think I had one contraction during my entire 40 minute walk, and I returned home exhausted and very bummed. I called my midwife, trying not to cry, and she suggested I take a nap. Maybe with a little rest, my body would re-start it's unfinished business of evicting this past-due baby. A nap did make me feel much better. But I awoke with no signs of labor at all. I felt sad, frustrated, and slightly embarrassed. David picked up the boys, and I tried to rest and relax (although it felt more like I sat and watched my uterus, waiting for it erupt.)

Over the course of the weekend, I felt rather awful. I was nauseous, dry heaving, dizzy, insanely crampy and generally just hormonal and miserable. Did I mention that I was tired? Because we did not have plans (our plans were to have a baby by then!), and I did not feel up to actually doing anything, we stayed around the house, waiting and waiting. Mother's Day came and went with very little ado.

And on Monday, May 13th, I was still pregnant and 5 days past my due date. Theoretically, I believe that babies come when they are ready, and that due dates are quite silly really. Babies don't know dates. But that doesn't change the frustration I felt by having to wait a little longer than I anticipated. And despite my strong philosophical beliefs about not intervening with birth and trusting in the wisdom of my own body, spending Mother's Day without celebration and without our newest little one in arms was incredibly disappointing.

I met up with some friends to let the littles play on Monday afternoon, and we talked a lot about birth and processing our emotions about our different experiences. When we were talking about how we might have wanted our previous births to go differently, what really stuck with me was how labor and birth is unpredictable, uncontrollable, unbridled, and seemingly arbitrary. Oftentimes, I think this leaves us wishing it had gone differently, or hoping for a different experience next time. That is the nature of birth, and something none of us can change, although many try. But it is something that we can learn to embrace, accept, and respect. As I write Eleanor's birth story, there is one word that I have used frequently to describe it: unexpected. And as I put her story into words, I am appreciating the element of surprise that nature and Eleanor have brought to my life, and recognizing that the best things in life are worth waiting for.

On Monday night, David and I went to bed around 11:00 PM and I took some Benadryl to help me sleep well (When you are 5 days past due every good night of sleep seems like it could be your last for a while...). Despite it's usual narcoleptic powers, I laid awake for several hours. It seemed strange, because I was incredibly exhausted. I finally drifted to sleep around 2:00 AM, but then I had to get up and use the bathroom six or seven times before waking up at 6:30 AM.

And I knew I was in labor.

I woke David up and said, "I'm 95% positive that I'm in labor, do you think you could get up and get the kids ready?" He took the boys out and shut the door, while I laid in bed, waiting for the "without a doubt" certainty that would end up eluding me. I had another contraction and it was more intense, so I got up around 6:45 AM only to find David asleep on the couch and Dmitri and Damon running around naked and unfed. I asked David what he was doing, and he looked at me baffled and confused. I quickly cleared things up by saying "I'm in labor!" Evidently, he missed that part the first time. He wisely jumped up and started getting the kids ready.

My contractions were very sporadic, but they lasted over a minute and increased in intensity. They felt really sharp and isolated. I called my midwife, Debi, to let her know, and we decided to check-in within the hour. We started getting the big brothers ready to go to our friends' house, ate breakfast and did our usual morning ritual (except thinking, "Am I really in labor?" the entire time.) The contractions kept up, and were long, but they were still spaced really far apart. I checked in with my midwife twice, before she decided to head my way. David dropped off Dmitri and Damon, who were excited to play with their friends. Around 9:00 AM, I started timing contractions using the Stage 1 app on my iPhone, and they were between 12-14 minutes apart. I decided to take a bath and get dressed. David came into the bathroom and talked to me for a little while, and honestly, at this point I felt confused. Why were my contractions so spaced out? (In my previous labors, contractions started at 10 minutes apart and 7 minutes apart, respectively, and quickly got closer together). And why hadn't they changed much? Is  labor just going to stop? (This made me really anxious after Friday's labor fail. I think I would be mortified if David did not go to work and our friends had to watch our boys AGAIN without the arrival of our baby).

Jessica (Debi's apprentice) arrived and she and David started finishing up some of the final preparations- getting the birth pool set up, making the bed, etc. I got dressed, and talked to them. Jessica listened to the baby's heart beat, which sounded good. Debi arrived a little while after that and asked her routine questions.

And then, we hung out. And hung out. And hung out. And we talked about all kinds of random things, like tattoos and Star Trek. My contractions kept up and were lasting anywhere from 60-90 seconds and they were moderately intense. But they stayed 12-14 minutes apart. For what felt like, forever. It was actually just 9 hours, but 9 hours and forever are incredibly similar to a laboring woman. At 3:00 PM, they were STILL the same. We were sitting in the living room talking, and I'd have a contraction, and then we'd just keep on talking. It seemed incredibly surreal, like I was visiting with friends, except for the contraction 4-5 times an hour. I got in the birth pool a time or two throughout the morning/early afternoon, but I got kind of bored, the water got cold, and it seemed kind of pointless.

At this point, I became really frustrated. This was taking way too long. I had expected to have a baby hours ago. David and I were trying to figure out what we needed to do about childcare for our boys overnight (at this point, we were wondering if this could go on for another 12 hours or so since nothing had changed in 9!) We were unsure what to do and I felt really anxious and out of control. And I cried. (If I actually paid attention to my emotions during labor rather than what my contractions were doing, I would probably have a much more accurate gauge of where I was, instead of feeling so lost and confused wandering around labor land. But, I can only say that in retrospect. )

Debi and Jessica encouraged me to eat some sugar since the uterus is fueled by sugar- I drank a glass of juice and indulged in a large slice or two (ok, two plus stealing half of David's while he left his unattended for about 30 seconds) of tiramisu that was intended to be an after-birth dessert. That made me feel much happier. (I fully admit to being an emotional eater.) Someone suggested bouncing on the ball, so I sat in the living room bouncing and talking.

This magical combination of sugar and bouncing on a birth ball seemed to instantaneously kick my contractions to 5 minutes apart. And after every contraction, I had to pee.  I had a nice little rhythm going for a while... bounce, contraction, pee, repeat. (This was around 3:30 PM). The contractions increased in intensity and soon I wanted to get in the pool. We added more hot water, and I stayed in there through several massive contractions. David stood beside me and held my hand. While they were incredibly powerful and long and I cried through them, the contractions were still 5 minutes apart. I felt a small pop while I was in the water during a contraction, and I said, "I think my water may have just broken."Because it wasn't really strong or loud, I was unsure whether it had actually broken. But if it had, it was clear. I overheard David ask Debi to the side, "do you think her water actually broke?" And Debi responded, "Well, if she thinks it did, then we act like it did." I thought that was funny for some reason.

After crying through a few strong contractions, I told David who told Debi that I wanted to be checked. She came into the room and asked if I were sure. I said, "Do you think I shouldn't? Will it just make me feel worse?" She responded, "Well, how about you give it another good contraction or two." I started feeling a little dizzy and nauseous, and a little bit of pressure, and I wanted to get out of the pool. We put peppermint oil on a washcloth, and I held it to my nose whenever I felt a wave of nausea.  Feeling nauseous and dizzy is my absolute least favorite part of labor and was what I dreaded the most. I felt like the peppermint oil helped significantly- it didn't take it away completely, but it made it much more manageable.

I tried kneeling on the bed on the birth ball, but it hurt my knees. So I tried laying on my side, hoping it would help me feel less dizzy. But I ended up on the squat stool, which I love. David was in front of me and Debi was right beside him. I kept feeling like I was going to fall of of the stool and that I couldn't hold myself up any longer, because of how dizzy I was. I laid my entire body on David for a minute, and for that minute I felt calm and at peace. Everything seemed very surreal; Debi, Jessica, and David were acting like I was about to have a baby any second, and my body seemed like it was going to have a baby any second, but that seemed fantastical and unreal after the confusion, frustration, waiting, and unpredictable contractions.

Debi checked me and said I was 9 centimeters, which surprised me because I felt like pushing. After another contraction (which I was pushing during) she said, let me help you and helped to move back the lip and then I felt the baby move down incredibly quickly. Debi said, "David get your hands here!" Since I pushed for 20 minutes with Dmitri (although, it was definitely "purple" pushing and not directed by my own body), and then 40 minutes with Damon, I fully expected to feel that intense, uncomfortable, pressure of the baby descending to stay.

But that intense pressure was fleeting, and unexpectedly gone, and there below me was a head half-way out of my body, cradled by David's hands. After two more pushes, the rest of the head and body were born. I pushed for a total of one minute. As David handed me our baby, I saw something that I did not recognize as a penis. I held the baby to my stomach, and I looked at David for affirmation and said, "What is it?!" He looked at me and responded, "Unless I'm mistaken...."And he didn't have to finish his sentence. I turned to Debi and looked questioningly at her. She said, "I am NOT going to tell you what it is! But, you know what little boys look like! Does it look like that?" And I exclaimed with the biggest tearful smile I think I have ever had, "It's a girl!!!!!"

After 9 months of wondering, plus an extra week full of glimpses and false hopes, an unpredictable and sporadic labor that lasted hours longer than I ever anticipated, and one minute of pushing, I held Eleanor Blythe in my arms and knew that she was more than I ever could have expected. And she was worth the wait.

Once I moved to the bed, with Eleanor on my stomach I looked at David and said, "That was crazy." 

Telling Dmitri that the baby is a girl. 

"Me hold it!"

Proud big brother. 

7 lbs. 4 oz. 

"Me hold it baby more!"

Happy Papa 

First diaper change

in love.

Dmitri took his job of dressing her very seriously. 

Lots of kisses.

 Welcome Eleanor Blythe! You are so full of surprises. We are in love.

SHE is (finally) here!

 

Eleanor Blythe
Arrived May 14th, 2013 at 5:07 PM
7 lbs. 4 oz. and 20 inches

In love.

DIY Placenta and Photos of Dmitri & Damon

I commented on the fact that we have a placenta in our freezer, and it got me thinking about what people have actually done with a placenta. Searches turned up some interesting results. A few don't seem too out there to me..you know, like throwing it away. But other ideas are full-on DIY Placenta Edition.

Like this Teddy Bear...

 OhDeeDoh

Wow. Just wow. Creative, to say the least. Other ideas that I've found are encapsulating it so that the mother can take it in pill form to regain the nutrients. Using it to make art...and my personal favorite, planting it under a tree, bush, flower, or other plant in honor of the baby.

(We will probably go with the last one).

Damon is just precious, and we love having him as a part of our family. It's been an adjustment, nonetheless. I am pretty freaked out about having to handle the two of them on my own. But I still have a few days before I will face that challenge.

Dmitri loves the "baby". He is constantly giving him kisses, wanting to hold him, and petting his head (he is unbelievably gentle for a 21-month-old)! He also enjoys pointing out his hair, eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, chin, ears, and toes! It completely makes my heart melt to see how sweet they are together:

Dmitri & Damon (Damon is yawning, not crying! Haha!)

 

Eyes!!

  

 

Sleeping

That last photo reminds me so much of this photo of Dmitri...

Sometimes, I think that I've given birth to twins 20.5 months apart.

 As we adjust to life as a family of four, and I start back classes, I plan to slowly resume my normal blogging. I have several projects/changes to share... = ) But I'm trying my best to take it easy, let my body heal, and focus on loving my two boys.

Damon August: The Birth Story

Damon August

March 23rd, 2011

12:04 PM

8 lbs. & 20 3/4 inches

Damon’s arrival has left me with many existential questions. And as I sit down to write his story, cradling his tiny body in my lap, I feel unworthy of putting words to the magnificent and beautiful event that was his birth. And starting the story is the most difficult of all.

How does one know where a little human’s life story should begin? Is it at conception (Too much information? I thought so…)? Or the pink plus sign on a pee-stick. The first ultrasound and hearing the heart beat. Announcing the news. Surviving the first trimester. Finding out the sex. Or the numerous other milestones that intrigue and excite parents as they look for any hint or glimmer of the being that grows clandestinely inside the uterus. And finally, after 9 months of growing, labor and birth. The first breath. But, where to begin…  

Unlike in the movies, labor rarely starts spontaneously with a gush of water. Labor often starts as a painful whisper, foreshadowing things to come. And at the beginning, it leaves little questions in the mind of the mother, like “Is this it?” Or it can start, send you into a whirl, and stop, laughing at those who think they can predict it, control it, or know it. But when the baby has communicated that it is ready to make it’s entrance, labor no longer dances lightly. Labor lets it’s presence be known, and there Is no longer a doubt that the arrival of an earthling is imminent. And whether waiting or laboring, all we can do is surrender. 

I started having regular, crampy, contractions in the early morning on Sunday.  It was the night of the full moon, and David and I had made the most delicious homemade eggplant parmesan for dinner. I woke up at 2 AM, thinking, this is it! I timed the mildly painful contractions on my iPhone (using the application Stage 1). They were about 15 minutes apart, but getting closer together. So, we called my sister-in-law, who drove an hour-and-a-half at 3:30 AM to be there to take care of Dmitri should he need anything. I called my midwife, who stressed that I really needed to go back to sleep, because it could just be the moon causing them. I stayed in bed, but I was unable to go back to sleep from the contractions. But by 6 AM, I was exhausted, and I finally drifted to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I was still having contractions every 10 minutes, but they were much milder. A sign that labor was not progressing.

 

And I was angry at the full moon for being such a tease.

Three days passed. 

I returned to classes on Tuesday (we had been on Spring Break), still very pregnant and rather uncomfortable. But generally, my spirits were up. And I continued to have mild, but crampy and regular contractions.

I woke up Wednesday morning at 5 AM to use the bathroom, and then I knew. I had a contraction. The kind that I could not lay down through. The kind that I had to dance to. I timed three of them, and then I woke up David, saying, “I’m in labor.” There was no doubt.

I called my midwife to let her know that today was the day. I wanted to make sure that she had plenty of time to get there since she lived over an hour away. She asked whether she should come then, and we decided to touch base in an hour. After getting off the phone, I directed David as he helped get everything around the house ready for the birth. We began filling up the labor pool, gathering Dmitri’s essentials, and I ate breakfast. All the while, I moved through the contractions that were coming about every 8 minutes and lasting 60-75 seconds. About 15 minutes after getting off the phone with Debi, I called her back, asking that she go ahead and come.  I knew that her arrival would help me relax. I did not want to worry about the baby arriving before she did, as I’ve heard enough insanely fast second birth stories (where the baby arrives in the car/on the toilet/ other unexpected place) to make me worry.

Up until this point, Dmitri was asleep. But around 7:30 AM he woke up. I will always cherish the time that I got to spend with him in between contractions. I told him how today was the day he was going to become a big brother. We shared lots of snuggles, hugs, and kisses. And I cried just a little (the first of many times that day).

Shortly after this, my midwife, Debi, her assistant, Jessica, as well as our friend Ingie (who took Dmitri to their house for the day) all arrived in a bustle of morning energy. Debi and Jessica began unloading their supplies, and I said goodbye to Dmitri, knowing that the next time I saw him, I would be a mother of two.

With all of the arrivals and departures, it took a little while for me to get back into the rhythm that I had had when it was just David and I. Although the contractions were still becoming more intense, they seemed to space out a little more. But it did not take long for me to become comfortable in my labor space, settle in, and make it my own. At this point, I was standing up and swaying my hips during contractions, while deep breathing and chanting “Om.”

“Om” was my labor chant from the beginning until the end. It centered me, keeping me focused and calm throughout the entire labor. It relaxed me, and I really believe that it enabled my cervix to open.

 The contractions intensified, and I started having a more difficult time getting through them. I decided that is was time to get in the labor pool! We had a La Bassine pool set up, and it was amazing! It was so spacious; I could move easily. I felt like I was swimming. And I cannot say enough about the power of warm water to help relax and ease the intensity of painful contractions. It was also pleasant to rest in in-between the contractions, and I think it helped me let go of each contraction and not store up the tension. 

David sat beside me in a chair while I labored in the pool for several hours; and Debi and Jessica sat in the living room. I continued to eat light foods (apple, toast) and I drank a lot of water, as well as a little bit of iced red raspberry leaf tea. As the contractions became more intense, David applied counter pressure to my hips while I was in the pool.  We talked in between contractions and listened to music (Tegan and Sara, if you are wondering). This was such a wonderful way to labor: I was relaxed and confident, but in my moments of doubt, David was there to encourage me and support me. There were several times after an especially intense contraction when I broke down and cried. This really helped me release my fear and was able to let go and power through the next contraction. 

As for fetal monitoring during this time, Jessica would come in and listen to the baby’s heart beat occasionally. However, I felt very comfortable with her. She was very non-intrusive, and I never felt like my space was violated. And if I were having a contraction, she was very respectful about waiting until it was finished.

As labor continued, David started timing the contractions to see how close they were together. We used the Stage 1 application on my iPhone. It was a super easy application to use; I would definitely recommend it. (And it’s free!) Around 11:00 AM the contractions were at their most intense, and I had severe back labor, but they were still 3-4 minutes apart.

This is when I became upset. I looked at David and declared, “This is taking too long. I cannot keep doing this. They are still 3-4 minutes apart and it’s going to be so much longer…I can’t do this.” I was anticipating this labor to be just like Dmitri’s labor. His labor had progressed similarly up until this point; and then I had hit transition. Transition was two hours of pure hell: incredibly intense contractions that lasted 90 seconds, with only 30 seconds in between. For two, solid, hours. Luckily, I had not known how long it would last with Dmitri, and I kept thinking it would just be a little bit longer. Especially since I had read that transition was normally only 8-10 contractions and usually lasted about half an hour [a learning experience that there really is no “normal” in labor.]

But this time, I had that memory. And I was terrified of having to endure that again. David recognized that I needed a “change of scenery” and we had listened through the Tegan and Sara playlist two or three times. At first, I suggested Regina Spektor. But as David clicked through the playlist, I said “Next” to every single song. I was just not in the mood. Debi had brought a CD that was nothing but the sound of ocean waves. I had not wanted to listen to it earlier, but now it was just what I needed. So, David put that on. 

It was perfect. During each contraction, I envisioned standing on the beach (skinny and in a bikini again, of course!) holding the baby in my arms, feeling the sweet burn of sunshine on my skin, cool sand in between my toes, and watching Dmitri laugh, splash, and run in the waves. I am pretty sure that I smiled during the contractions. I know that my eyes watered, not from pain or fear, but from pure happiness and excitement to meet my baby. I was mostly silent, and I meditated in between contractions. When I could think about nothing else, I focused on getting to hold the baby. And I listened to the crashing of the waves…

All of a sudden, I felt a wave of dizziness and pressure in my lower back. I told David, “Get Debi, NOW.” Debi came into the room, and I said, “Debi, I don’t know what’s going on!” [Code for: Surely I am not feeling the need to push.”] She asked if I wanted her to check me (I had not had any vaginal checks up to this point.) I decided that yes, I wanted to be checked. I wanted to know what was going on. She checked me while I was still in the labor pool.

She said, “No cervix!”

David said, “Caroline, you know what that means!” I think I had the biggest smile I’ve ever had in my life. I was elated. In my mind, I had somehow just skipped transition, (of course, I had actually just powered through it.) I laughed; and I was so excited.

At this point, there was a slight lull in my contractions. I’m not sure if it was the excitement, or just that I was transitioning from stage one to stage two of labor. At one point, I felt like I was going to have a contraction, so I got into my hands-and-knees position and took a deep breath. But the contraction didn’t come. I burst out laughing, feeling like I had been pranked. But it was a short-lived break, and they resumed, now with a strong feeling of pressure. Debi and Jessica were in the room now. 

I began to bear down during the contractions. I did not feel a full out need to push, but I felt so much pressure. And then, with a huge “pop” (although, not audible, since it was underwater, I felt it) my water broke. It was like an octopus emitting ink into water, except that it was clear: yay!. I said, “Thank god! My water just broke. That feels so much better.” But the relief did not last long. I felt surges of dizziness and a lot of intense pressure and pain in my lower back. I decided that I wanted to get out of the pool, so David helped me out. For a little while I felt like standing up. David stood behind me, nearly holding me up, in a supported standing position while I pushed against his support. While I was pushing, a massive amount of fluids came out. I said, “I feel like a Clydesdale!” Debi assured me that I was not peeing, but the gushing warm liquid had some similarities. 

I continued to feel dizzy, and I became tired from standing, so Debi directed me to the bed. I DID NOT want to lay or sit down on that bed, and I do not think that there was anything anyone could have done to get me to, outside of chaining me down! I told David to get the ball, and I tried holding the ball while in a hands and knees position on the bed. But that was not comfortable at all. I kept saying, “I just feel so dizzy.” Jessica mixed me an Emergen-C to help give me energy, and I felt much better after chugging it. Debi then suggested that I get on the squat stool. 

The squat stool was covered in a trash bag, so I could not really see what it looked like. But when I sat down on it, I was astonished to find that it was incredibly comfortable! It was like the rim of a chair, or a toilet, but the front and center parts were open. It was also covered in foam, so it was very soft. Because of the shape and height, it enabled me to relax (much like a toilet would, except that it was much softer and more comfortable). Think Sphincter Law. I cannot rave enough about the squat stool. 

At this point, Debi was in front of me, with Jessica and David on either side of her. And I began to really push. While I pushed, I leaned on Debi. I still felt dizzy, but I knew that I had to work through it. I pushed during contractions, but I also pushed in between contractions. And I pushed slowly. (I had read a lot on the benefits of slow pushing). As the baby began to descend, I got to put my fingers inside and feel his head. This was both motivating and empowering! I was not afraid of my own body. And I held no inhibitions. And I continued to push. I do not think that I can describe all of the sensations that I felt at this point. A lot of pain, a lot of pressure, the most intense experience that I have ever been in; He began to crown. And there were plenty of hands there to catch him, including my own. It seemed to take a long time for his head to be fully born. It burned, and I made a lot of noise! But finally, I delivered Damon August at 12:04 PM and David was there to catch him. Debi directed David’s hands to put him in my arms. I do not remember what I said at this point:

I was in complete shock and disbelief that I was holding a completely blue, floppy, and oh-my-goodness, slippery! baby in my arms. I could not take it in- it was so amazing. And I could not take my eyes off of him as I cradled him in my arms. He eventually took his first breath and made a whimper, but he never actually cried. They helped me move up to the bed; David sat beside me. And we got to know our son. It was only a few minutes before he had latched onto my breast and was sucking away. It was incredible to be able to bond with him immediately, and for the three of us to lie in bed together: completely relaxed and comfortable. There were no interruptions, no one bugging us. Just an immense amount of love, awe, happiness, and peace as we shared and celebrated the first hours of Damon’s life.

The Afterbirth & After thoughts:

It took a little while before I pushed out the placenta, however, even after it was delivered, we left him attached for about an hour and a half so that we made sure he received most of his blood back. I was fascinated by the cord and placenta (something that I did not even want to look at the first time around). I had no idea that the cord was so rubbery and cartilage-like. David got to cut the cord when we finally did cut it.

I had zero-tearing, and not even a skid mark. Which my midwife said was impressive, considering he was 8 lbs. and had a head-circumference of 14 .“ I was so happy about this; tearing is not a fun recovery at all.

Naturally, I was sore afterward. And the contractions were pretty horrible(and lasted for several days. They were especially bad while nursing). But I had very little swelling, and honestly, my perineum and tissues did not even feel like I had had a baby at all by the next day! Although, I had a lot of soreness other places (like my back!)

One thing that I learned afterwards, was that my midwife had never intended for me to give birth on the squat stool; she prefers for moms to not give birth on it because they often push too hard and have severe tearing and difficult repairs. I found this out after I had gone on and on to anyone who would listen about the wonders of the squat stool, how much I loved it, and how I would refuse to give birth any other way in the future. Debi assured me that I could give birth on it again; I have since joked that I have earned squat stool privileges and I want a badge.

Breastfeeding is going well. My milk fully came in four days after the birth. Of course, I have the usual complaints of soreness and engorgement. But it comes with the territory and we are working through it. I have had to work to make sure that he has a proper latch, but we seem to have it down now. I am also pumping so that I will have milk stored, should he need it when I go back to classes.

Dmitri got to meet Damon a few hours after he was born. He is very sweet and gentle with him. He loves to point out his hair, eyes, ears, nose, mouth and toes. And he greets him by saying “Hiiiiiii baby!” Having a little brother who requires attention is definitely an adjustment for him, and for all of us. But he is doing as well as can be expected.

Since Dmitri still sleeps in bed with us, it has been a conundrum determining how to handle sleeping arrangements with two little ones. As of right now, all four of us are sleeping in our King size bed and it is working really well. This might not seem like the most comfortable situation, but it is working for us, for now, and we love getting bond and cuddle as a family.

All in all, I feel like I could not have asked for a more perfect birth. Yes, it was crazy/intense/painful/etc. But, it went exactly how I wanted it to, and I feel very very lucky. Perfect is not a word that I thought could ever modify the word birth.

A final thought: there is a placenta in our freezer. That’s a little strange. I'm unsure what we will end up doing with it!

A Tribute to the Final Weeks of Pregnancy

This past week, I have taken some time to enjoy the last few days/weeks of pregnancy and life as a family of three. It probably seems like a rather uneventful (and at times, miserable) way to spend Spring Break, but I am loving every minute of it. I look forward to showing off some projects, but I want to focus on the biggest project that I'm working on right now:

Yes, I am huge and tired.

I have loved reading your guesses about the bebe's name & stats. If you haven't cast your vote, now is the time! 

Favorite Birth Stories that I have read Recently:

Opening

Delivering Babies After a Tsunami

Inga's Birth Story (with Video)

How I'm Feeling:

This pregnancy has gone by so quickly! I absolutely cannot wait to meet this baby. And I know that I'm not going to miss the frequent trips to the bathroom, heart burn, lack of sleep, back aches, and morning sickness. But I have to confess, I think I'm going to miss being pregnant! (I never thought I would be saying that). To document my enormous size, David and I belly-casted my very pregnant torso. I'm so glad that I decided to do this at the last minute! (You can get a belly cast kit from Proud Body).

Belly cast

I have also been cherishing the last days of Dmitri as my only child. We have been reading a lot of books, playing at the park, and setting up "homeschool" toddler activities for him (FYI, homeschooling a toddler means playing with a toddler. Don't worry, I'm not that crazy!)  I cannot wait to see how Dmitri reacts to the baby; I think he is going to be such a wonderful big brother!

 20 months

Swinging

I cannot wait to meet this little one: to hold him, cuddle him, love him, breastfeed him. I want to count all of his fingers and toes. Kiss his cheeks. To announce his name. And I have so many questions running through my head:

-Will he be a brunette/blond/red-head?

-Will he look like Dmitri/David/me?

-Will he be left-handed like his big brother?

-What if he is a she?

-How much will he weigh?

-What day will he arrive? Will he be a week "late" like with my first pregnancy? Will it be day or night?

-What will the labor be like this time?

-Will he be a water birth?

It won't be much longer...! I will close with a video that makes me laugh, even at 9 months pregnant!

Final Preparations for Baby and The Home Birth Supply List

We are making headway on the final preparations for baby # 2's arrival. It's a good thing too, since technically, he could be here any day (although I'm not planning on him arriving for a few more weeks!) We've stocked up the pantry, fridge, and freezer, as well as our cleaning supply closet and things like toilet paper:

Dmitri loves to play with the cereal boxes in the pantry.

And we've been cleaning like crazy. Although, it seems that we have a little elf who likes to undo our cleaning as we go. We've had to re-arrange some furniture to prepare for the baby's arrival. We moved our queen size bed into Dmitri's room, and then changed our minds and moved it back into the guest room, which is serving as the "birth room." We will also be setting up a labor/birth pool in there.

Having a home birth requires a bit more preparation than merely pre-registering at the hospital and getting there once labor is underway. It can be a little overwhelming, but it's also a lot of fun to be more involved and prepare for the birth. Luckily, my midwife made it easy for me by giving me a very detailed list of supplies that I need to assemble before my home visit (which is this week!) Here is what that list looks like, just in case you are curious!

Supplies:

-A pre-assembled birth kit from Everythingbirth.com (this has a lot of the medical supplies in it)

For Mom & Baby:
-2 Sets of clean sheets
-8 bath towels
-Clean night gown
-Bathrobe
-Socks for mom
-Baby's 1st oufit
-Newborn diapers
-Receiving blankets

Supplies:
-Two roles of paper towels
-1 box of 13 gal. trashbags
-4 -30 gal. trashbags
-3 painters drop cloths
-2 lg. bowls
-1 flashlight
-Overnight pads
-Lysol Wipes
-Toilet paper
-1 lg. bottle of Floradix Iron Plus Herbs
-small bottle of Olive Oil
-1 package baby wipes
-1 bottle of rubbing alcohol
-Ample heat in birth room
-Car with gas tank at least 1/2 full

Food and Drink
-Light food: yogurt, eggs, toast, frozen grapes, broth, honey, etc.
-2 qt. clear juice
-Quick meals/snacks, coffee, and half/half
-Emergen-C Packs

Ice Options:
-Lots of ice cubes and cold packs
-Ziplocs with crushed ice or gel packs (I made my own "gel packs" by filling freezer bags with water and a little alcohol)

Water birth:
-Pool/tub
-Inflation pump
-Floating thermometer
-Hose
-Sink adapter
-Large pots for heating water
-Small fishnet
-Pool liner

I almost have everything together; I just need to pick up a few more things! = ) It's hard to believe it's almost here; this pregnancy has gone by so quickly. I think being due in the middle of a school semester plus having an active toddler has had a big influence on that. Life isn't slowing down at all for this baby. I'm just hoping that he'll hang in there until after midterms, and then it should be coasting from there.

Of course, there is always an infinite list of things that I would "like" to accomplish before the baby arrives. But I'm having to let go, de-stress, and view any extras as icing on the cake; because really, the baby doesn't care if there are curtains hanging in every room. (There is a hint as to what projects are coming up!)

The Blessingway

I cannot even begin to share how blessed I have been by your many blessings, beads, encouragement, notes, quotes, poems, and love. I have shed many (happy) tears, and I feel so honored! I will print out all of my sweet messages and keep them near to me during labor. If you are just now checking in, here is info about my virtual blessingway. I wanted to share a few of the beautiful poems & quotes that were shared with me. And thank you so much to everyone who participated and to those who said a silent prayer or sent a positive thought for me. If you would like to add to this, please feel free to leave a note in the comments!

Thank you again; I feel so loved!
Caroline

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers -strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength. -Barbara Katz Rothman

“Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything.” -William MacNeile Dixon

Ordinary Miracle
by Barbara Kingsolver

I have mourned lost days

When I accomplished nothing of importance.

But not lately.

Lately under the lunar tide

Of a woman’s ocean, I work

My own sea-change:

Turning grains of sand to human eyes.

I daydream after breakfast

While the spirit of egg and toast

Knits together a length of bone

As fine as a wheatstalk.

Later, as I postpone weeding the garden

I will make two hands

That may tend a hundred gardens.
I need ten full moons exactly

For keeping the animal promise.

I offer myself up: unsaintly, but

Transmuted anyway

By the most ordinary miracle.

I am nothing in this world beyond the things one woman does.

But here are eyes that once were pearls.

And here is a second chance where there was none.

Willow Tree
Anonymous

I am a willow tree,
Strong, yet fluid

graceful.

I can bend with the wind,
but my roots are tough,

indestructible.

Opening to birth my child
is flowing with the wind:

from a soft and gentle breeze
to a stormy gale
back to a soft and gentle breeze.

My body is strong, but flexible.
It is my friend, it knows how to open.
I am a friend to my body

eating well, walking, and loving myself.

I shall birth safely, freely, openly . . .

among my loved and trusted ones.

I am the willow, flexible

beautiful resilient
endowed with the power of surrender

to the wind rustling through my leaves,

my branches.

My roots reach deep into Mother Earth
Anchored in Her strength
I bring forth life
In joy!

“As women, we are inherently both power-filled and power-full. Each one of us knows on some level that we do have awesome strength at our core.” –from the book Mother Rising

"There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ they would brag about it. So should we" - Ina May Gaskin

"Remember this, for it is as true and true gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body."

— Ina May Gaskin (Ina May's Guide to Childbirth)

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~ Rajneesh

To write, or not to write: a birth plan

For Dmitri's birth (click for story), I was very ready. I had read all of the books, I had watched the natural birth videos, we took a natural birth class...Of course, the labor and birth were intense (it's called labor for a reason!), but everything went remarkably well. And like any birth, there were a few unexpected bumps a long the way. But for the most part, I felt that I did everything it my power to get the birth that I wanted, and that's the best that I can do!

Now I'm about to give labor and birth a second go, and I want things to go a little differently than the first time. One thing that I am doing differently is the birth plan. Surprisingly, I did not write one when I was pregnant with Dmitri. But this time around, I am putting it all down on paper. David and I sat down and worked on it together for a couple hours. I think it really helped to clear our heads, made us think through everything to make sure nothing was forgotten in our preparation, and it ensured that we were on the same page.

A few things that we included were:

-Childcare Plan of Action
-Who to Call & When
-A "Once Labor has Begun" To-Do List
-Specific Requests About the Birth (like positions I do/do not want to be in; Cord-cutting; and David would like to catch the baby, etc)
-Who to Call Once Baby has Arrived
-Visitors Protocol (Who Can Come and When, etc.)

Did you write a birth plan or would you consider writing one? Why/why not?

Preparing for birth: When Nothing Goes as Planned Part Two

This is part two of my journey to prepare for the birth of baby number 2 - for part one click here!


I was left with two rather unappealing options in my decision on where to have baby #2... at the hospital, or with a team of midwives two hours from my house. I had visions of the midwives not making it to the birth because of Atlanta rush hour traffic, or my labor progressing extremely fast. I dreaded the idea of driving 4 hours to every appointment, especially at 37+ weeks when they are weekly! Reaching the half-way point in my pregnancy left me with a sense of desperation, and the need to "just make a decision".

I decided to continue to look for any other midwives that were located in Atlanta. I received a few recommendations and references. So, I got in touch with the first one, who was located 1 1/2 hours from my house. She said that she wouldn't do a birth outside of an hour from her. [This made me even more anxious about the midwives who were 2 hours away!] I had one final option. I emailed the third midwife in Atlanta, and found out that she was only an hour away! An hour seemed so manageable compared to my other options.

I called her on the phone and we talked for over half an hour. That conversation took away all my worries, apprehensions, stress, and fears, brought on by the uncertainty of unsuccessfully looking for a midwife for five weeks. I was able to tell her my story, and she was able to tell me hers. I got off the phone, nearly in tears at the amount of peace that I received in talking to her. I knew that she was perfect.

I scheduled a consultation with her at her home a few days later. David and Dmitri came with me (one of my favorite parts of homebirth midwifery is the focus on the family having the baby, not just the mom!) We talked for an hour and half in her rustic log cabin about everything from breech births to meconium, vaginal checks to delayed cord cutting, water births, placentas, and birth philosophy.

I left her house feeling confident, refreshed, and for one of the first times, truly excited about the birth of baby # 2!

So here we go...we have surmounted a major obstacle to a home birth, and we are on our way! I will continue to write about our birth plans and journey as we prepare for the birth of baby # 2 at home.