Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Oh, you are tired of me being tired?

Did I mention how tired I am? Just in case you didn't know, I am SO tired. I slept 4 hours last night. Four hours. And I might be able to survive one night of that... But that's nothing new.

I started researching and reading up on how to get babies to sleep better. Because, all the literature says they should be able to sleep through the night by 6 months at the latest. (Yeah, like babies read those things...) A lot of what I read was pretty anti-co-sleeping.

This lead to me to a lot of self-doubt and mommy-guilt (what is up with the mom-guilt? Seriously, it's like, out comes the baby, the placenta, and then GUILT....)

So, the last thing I want is to not be able to admit that the decisions I made weren't the best decisions. I'm not going to be one of those parents. If co-sleeping really didn't work for us, I am going to accept it, and find something that does work for us.

Last week we started experimenting with other sleeping arrangements, i.e. putting Dmitri in his Pack N' Play. Some nights, it's worked a little better. Yay.

 But last night, it was SO much worse. So here is what I've decided.

There is no answer. We are screwed. & I will never sleep again.

10 comments:

Maranda Danelle said...

Bless your heart! I went through the same thing with my daughter. I started out by letting her sleep in her crib at nap time so she could get use to it but some nights she just had to cry for a few minutes and then she was ok. They figure out how to play mommy at a young age! (and it works everytime with mine :)

Good luck!

Filia Dei said...

Don't lose hope. You will sleep again. Maybe not until all of your kids are grown, or at least 5, but you will sleep again. For now, it is what it is. You learn how to live tired. All moms do. Keep at it, co-sleep when it works and let him sleep in a comfy crib when that works. Pack and plays didn't work for us and I think it's because they just aren't comfortable to sleep in for a long time. They're hard! Don't let the guilt get you. Try not to anyway, I know it's hard. I have 2, ages 12 and 10.

Much More Than Mommy said...

NO! You will sleep again! It'll just be in about 18 years! Seriously, it DOES get easier, but there are ALWAYS going to be some nights like that. But not as many!!!

Victoria said...

Hmmm, I have to disagree with the above comment! When they're older you don't sleep because they're not home by curfew, they're not answering their cell phone, they start driving and teenage boys + driving = No sleep, they have GF's of BF's over so you can't sleep til they leave so no hanky panky happens. Just go with your first thought that you probably won't sleep again:)

This Heavenly Life said...

You WILL sleep again! Just keep trying to get him in his own bed if that's what you really want/need to do, and your persistence will pay off. Something will work for you, hopefully sooner rather than later :)

Heidi said...

I don't regret co-sleeping (we did it because our son was adopted and needed extra attachment), but it was exhausting. And very hard to reverse, I might add. We were only able to do it because my husband works part-time and I have a flexible work schedule. Still, it was really hard.

Too Many Hats said...

Hugs. It will get better and you will sleep again, well unless you have another one sometime soon. My youngest didn't sleep through the night until he was 15 months old at which point I could no longer get up several times a night, I was losing it. We went from co-sleeping to the Ferber method (I know I'll get alot of ugly looks for that) and he was sleeping through the night in 2 nights. He is still our best sleeper.

stephanie said...

We have co-slept with all 4 of our kids & are still doing so with the youngest at 14 mos (other kids are now 13, 11 & 4). Hang in there. One of my kids was a terrible sleeper, one slept like a champ & the other 2 were in between-as long as we were co-sleeping. I don't think co-sleeping had any affect on whether or not they were good sleepers. However, transitioning from co-sleeping was not a nightmare, just a process, just like weaning. There may be a reason he is sleeping poorly- teething, start of a cold. Yes, there are days I am exhausted, but I know it does get better- much better in fact. You are in the thick of it now on some nights. Take care of yourself & don't second guess your parenting instincts. If you need to try for more separation from him at night, just monitor how both of you are doing and follow your gut. Each family is different & each child is different.

stephanie said...

One more thing- he could be going through a growth spurt. Those drive me crazy. They just want to nurse all night. If that is the problem, that should improve soon. My kids sometimes had growth spurts that lasted days & theirs never happened right when they were supposed to happen. Then they would settle back down to a better sleeping pattern. For me it was easier to nurse them all night co-sleeping rather than have to get up over & over again.
Also, my favorite lactation consultant & I have always laughed at the "babies should sleep through the night at 6 mos." pronouncement. She said many breast fed babies still cannot or don't no matter what the books & "experts" say. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing great! Feel free to email me anytime if you need to vent or just a sympathetic ear.

Bette said...

I have three kids and all had different sleeping patterns. Girl #1 catnapped during the day, but started sleeping 6 hours at night at 2 months old. Kid #2, started sleeping through the night when she was 4 yrs old (turns out she had sleep apnea and had to have tonsils,and adnoids removed). Doctors told me all sorts of things to try but nothing worked. Kid #3 started sleeping through the night at about 6 months and then about 2-3 months later started having night terrors. I am happy to report that kid #3 is almost 4 now and I FINALLY could get a good night's sleep if I wanted to (too many good shows late at night). I should probably enjoy it now before teenage years hit! Hang in there... It may take a while but YOU WILL SLEEP Again, and unfortunately what worked for me or someone else, might not work for you. Good luck!