My Expulsion of Cloth-Diapering Experience

My cloth diaper drawer

We have been cloth diapering for nearly 4 years (and having two in diapers for almost 1.5 of those years, and we are about to plunge back into having two in diapers come May, unless my almost-2-year-old decides to potty train before then!)

Cloth-diapering has become popular in recent years, and it's not just some crazy thing that hippies do. Parents from all different back-grounds and lifestyles choose to cloth diaper for various reasons. However, while I frequently meet other people who cloth diaper, or who have tried cloth diapering, I'll be honest. It's rare for me to hear a true success story.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first, upon seeing that I had registered for cloth diapers at my baby shower, a mom of two told me how she had tried to cloth diaper but how she just couldn't keep up with the laundry and so she gave up. She said something to the effect of, "Well, I hope it works out for you...."

Now, having experienced many cloth diaper challenges, and overcoming many of them, I want to share my experience here. Maybe just to satisfy your curiosity, maybe to encourage someone who is considering giving it a try, or to help those who did give up and want to try again! And so, here is my attempt at summing up all that I have learned in the last 4 years of cloth diapering...

Why Did We Start Cloth Diapering?

-Environmental: We did not like the idea of thousands of diapers sitting in landfills, especially since they take hundreds of years to decompose. 
-Cost : Poor college students with a baby- we like saving money where we can!
-Chemical Exposure: A secondary reason, however, diapers do contain a lot of chemicals, and it concerned me to expose my baby to these 24/7 for the first three years of life
The Evolution of our Diaper Stash

I'll sum up what we use right now, but if you are curious as to how we came to this conclusion you can read the story of the different diapers I have tried below.

-We have about 32-36 Fuzzibunz pocket diapers (some are Perfect Size Mediums and some are the One Size). I really like the Fuzzibunz Elite that they sell now. We use these from about 3 months until potty trained! (We have that many because of having 2 in diapers. If we only had one in diapers I would probably have 18-24).

-For the first few months, we will use newborn size fitted diapers and covers with the new baby. I like the Bummis Super Whisper Wrap (velcro) and the Thirsties Duo Wrap for covers. The fitted diapers that I have aren't made anymore, but you can look at a wide variety of them here. I prefer velcro over snaps, although I have some of both. We have 4 covers and I hope to have 12-18 fitted diapers.

If you begin researching cloth diapers, you will quickly realize that there are A LOT of brands and types of diapers out there. Pre-folds, fitted diapers, pocket diapers, all-in-ones, it can be pretty confusing!

Here is what we did:

When Dmitri was a couple days old, we started him out with pre-folds and wool diaper covers. Pre-folds are one of the cheapest options, and this was the reason we decided to try these. We quickly became overwhelmed- by the frequency of newborn poops, by poop leaking out of the pre-folds, by constantly trying to clean the wool covers...I was ready to give up very quickly.

And here is where I learned what many, many cloth diaper veterans recommend:

Start out with disposables for the first few weeks, because newborns need 10-12 diaper changes per day. After a couple weeks, that slows down a bit, and cloth diapering becomes much more feasible!

We switched to disposables for the sake of our sanity. Life with a new baby was overwhelming enough! When Dmitri was about 2 months old, I decided I wasn't ready to give up on cloth diapering. I decided to try different diapers after doing a lot of research, and this made a big difference in my cloth diapering experience.

I bought 24 Fuzzibunz used, but in good condition, off of eBay. Fuzzibunz are a popular brand of pocket diapers, and are one of the more expensive options, which is why I bought them used. We used these 24 diapers until the elastics degraded in them; I then replaced the elastics with the help of my sister-in-law, and we are still using them over 3 years later!

I like pocket diapers for a few reasons:

-They look similar to disposable diapers, and so other people can figure out how to use them fairly easily (pre-folds freaked out some family members!)
-They dry faster than AIO (All-in-ones).
-You can strip the inserts, double the inserts, replace the inserts, etc. Which you can't do in an AIO.
-I chose Fuzzibunz because the snaps supposedly last longer than velcro diapers do.

Along came baby # 2, and we had two in diapers. I needed more diapers, so I ordered Fuzzibunz in a perfect size small to use with him for the first several months. Somehow, I also ended up with fitted diapers and covers in a newborn size, as well, and we used both. Over the couple months that he fit in newborn size diapers, I realized that I liked the fitted diapers quite a bit more for a newborn. And here is why:

-My babies have skinny legs, and the fitted diapers fit better. (Dmitri wore preemie diapers for weeks, even though he didn't fit in the weight limit, just because of his legs). The fitted diapers had velcro, which was more adjustable. While I've heard that velcro isn't recommended for durability, my babies are only in NB sizes for a very short time, so long-term durability would not be a concern for us.
-The fitted diapers weren't as bulky and didn't make our newborn look funny in clothes (a silly complaint of pocket diapers, but it is a factor).
-Overall, for whatever reason, David and I both found them to be more pleasant to use. No stuffing diapers, etc.

Third time is the charm, so we will be using fitted diapers and covers for the first 3 months, and then switch to Fuzzibunz with baby # 3.

The Financial Investment

I have heard many people say that they have not had the money to buy cloth diapers, and so they use disposables. Financially, this is really short-sighted.. However, if you do feel like you don't have the money for the initial investment, here are a couple of ideas to try:

Option 1. Register for cloth diapers, or ask for cloth diapers if family members ask what gifts you need for the baby. (I know we did not get very many cloth diapers, even though we registered for them. I think most people don't really understand why cloth diapers are "so expensive" nor really want to buy them as gifts. However, maybe your family might! More and more stores carry cloth diapers, or if you do an Amazon registry you can register for cloth diapers.

Option 2. From the start of your pregnancy, budget $50/ month towards diapers, which is how much it will cost once the baby is here to diaper with disposables. Consider taking that much out of your bank account in cash and putting it in a piggy bank or envelope. In 6 months, you would have $300 to invest in cloth diapers. If you did this for your entire pregnancy, you could have $450 and have an extra big stash.

Option 3. Say that you weren't able to save money during your pregnancy, or you just learned about/decided to cloth diaper at 9 months, and don't have an extra $300 to spend on diapers. Another idea: Amazon offers 0% financing for 6 months on purchases over $150. If you buy 12 diapers for $227, you would only have to pay $38/ month to have it paid off in 6 months. Most likely, you will want more than that, say, at least 18. You could pay for those in 6 months with only $56/month. Which is the same you would be spending on disposables. BUT, that's only for 6 months, and not 3 years.

How Much Does it REALLY Cost to Cloth Diaper

You may have seen cost comparisons of Cloth Diapers vs. Disposables, claiming that you can save thousands of dollars by using cloth. Do you really? Well, here is the breakdown of how much I have personally spent on cloth diapering.

First cloth diapering purchase, pre-folds + wool covers (2009) - $150
24 Fuzzibunz used from eBay (2009) - $260
Diaper Sprayer (2009)- $40
Portable Wet Bag (2011)- $15
2 Wet Bags for home use - Given to me by a friend
12 Fuzzibunz size smalls + 2 covers and 6 fitted diapers for baby # 2 (2011) - $120 (very gently used diapers, almost like new)
12 Fuzzibunz Elite Diapers (2011) - $227
2 Additional Covers for baby # 3 - $35
12 fitted diapers for baby # 3 (budgeting) - $80 (will by used).

Amount Spent on the Actual Purchase of Diapers and Accessories for 3 children over 4 years: $920
Minus cloth diapers that I did not use that I have sold: - $180 (I have also donated to people in need some of the diapers I was not using, which I have not included).

TOTAL: $740

However, this does not include the expenses of detergent, water, and energy. 
I spend $15 every two months on detergent. And let's say about $5/ month on utilities (we do have a HE washer, so I'd say that's being generous). 

That's $150/year on detergent and utilities.
(We usually throw in a few towels and other items into our diaper loads, so really, I feel this is being generous. Because we don't JUST wash the diapers with the detergent and utilities).

Over 7 years that would be:

Utilities $420
Detergent $630

To diaper 3 children over 7 years, we will have spent $1790.

Disposables cost about $600/year/child. To diaper 3 children for 3 years each in disposable diapers, it would cost us $5400 from birth to potty training!

Total savings over 7 years: $3610

No complaints here! Your specific circumstances might be different. You might use different diapers, or have less of them, or only have one child in diapers at a time. We definitely have not cloth diapered the absolute cheapest way, but it's worked for us, and still saved us a lot of money.

Washing Cloth Diapers

Here is where it seems most people get hung up or grossed out. Yes, you have to wash cloth diapers. People have been washing diapers for quite some time - disposables only became popular in the last 50 years. But, most people seem to be a bit bothered by bodily excrements and the idea of washing diapers just seems weird. As someone who is hyper-sensitive to smells, I want my diapers to be super clean and completely odorless. I expect nothing less. And the smell of disposables bother me a lot too. So here is how we clean our diapers. Nothing revolutionary- I think it's probably how most people do it, but if you are curious....

After diaper change:
1. If applicable, rinse solid waste into the toilet with a diaper sprayer. (Only applies if baby eats solids)
2. Remove insert and place diaper into wet bag. We keep ours hung up in the bathroom (which is also our laundry room).
3. When wet bag is getting full, dump diapers into the washer and throw the wet bag in too.
4. Rinse in cold water (no detergent).
5. Wash on hottest cycle - we use a "Sanitize" cycle with a cloth diaper approved detergent (My favorite is Rockin' Green). Follow with a cold rinse/extra rinse.
6. Before placing diapers into the dryer, I ALWAYS do a smell-test. There is nothing worse than a funky smelling diaper coming out of the dryer.
7. If they smell fresh and clean enough to rub all over my face, then I dry either in the dryer or in the sun.
8. When dry, I throw mine into a basket and call it done.

If they still smell funny coming out of the wash, which is rare, but occasionally happens, I either re-wash them on a short hot cycle with Funk Rock detergent, or I remove all of the covers and rinse the inserts with a vinegar rinse. Either option always takes care of the smell. I also like to dry them in the sun if I can.

Trouble Shooting Common Cloth Diapering Problems & Challenges

Here are a few problems that I have run into with cloth diapers, both for myself and friends, and what helped us to work through them.

I was cloth diapering and it was great, and then my diapers began to smell....

A few things to try:
-Switch detergents. I used Charlie's Soap for months and months, and eventually they started to smell. Fine in the short term, but not for the long haul. Switching to Rockin' Green has worked much better for me.
-I use Funk Rock every 2 weeks - 1/month to help prevent ammonia build up.
-You can rinse the inserts in vinegar.
-The sun is great for "bleaching" and really really helps with smells and bacteria build up. It also bleaches stains out!

Cloth diapers were perfect until my child got a horrible diaper rash...

Both of my boys got really bad diaper rashes when they started eating solids. What worked best for us was to switch to disposables until the diaper rash cleared up and use a diaper creme. (You can't use a diaper creme with cloth unless you put a barrier between the creme and cloth. I.e. rice paper, wash cloth, etc.) Once it was cleared up, we switched back to cloth, and made sure to change their diapers as frequently as possible. It's important no matter what kind of diaper you use to change diapers frequently, but with cloth especially because there aren't a lot of chemicals keeping your baby's skin dry.

Also, laying diapers in the sun can help with any bacteria that might be causing a diaper rash.

Leaks...
Cloth diapers should never leak. If they do, it could be for a few reasons.
1. Diaper doesn't fit properly.
2. Elastic has worn out.
3. The detergent you are using is causing repelling. Check that it's cloth diaper approved and/or switch.
4. Diapers need to be changed more frequently.
5. Adding a more absorbant liner...When my boys got to be about 9 months old, we started using 2 liners in every diaper. You can also try hemp liners which are supposedly more absorbant (I didn't want to pay extra for hemp liners, personally.)

Products I have Mentioned
Fuzzibunz One Size Elite Pocket Diapers

Rockin' Green Laundry Detergent & Funk Rock

Diaper Sprayer (Bum Genius is the one we use)

Wet Bag (portable)

Bummis Super Whisper Wrap (Newborn Diaper cover)

Thirsties Diaper Cover

And there you have it, my expulsion of cloth diapering experience. If you have questions, I'll do my best to share any thoughts or help. Over all, cloth diapering has worked well for us, and I'm so glad that we've stuck with it and trouble-shooted when we've needed to. I hope you'll consider it too! 

Homeschool Days

Dmitri, who is 3.5, absolutely loves to read books. For hours. And hours. And Damon likes to join us, and when he gets bored he'll go play for a minute or two on his own, and then come back and read some more.

As I've considered different pre-school options and curriculum, I wanted most of all to follow my little ones' cues and interests. This had led me to procure a library card at our local library, and to create a book list of quality reading for pre-schoolers. Weekly, we've been going to the library and checking out  a stack of books. The little ones love it.  I love it almost as much as they do. And it's nice that I don't have to read the entire "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" Treasury multiple times per week.

And while I hope to incorporate some art projects, field trips, and other exploratory and hands on activities as a part of our little homeschool pre-school, reading makes up the bulk of it right now (of course, we also do our circle time, and our daily/weekly household activities- bread-baking, cooking, gardening, etc).

As I was thinking of a way to chronicle our readings, I decided a photo might be best of all for now. And so from time to time, I will post a peak into our little homeschool.

These are the books we read this week (many, many times each).

Dmitri's favorite: Winter Days In the Big Woods (adapted from Laura Ingalls Wilder).
Damon's favorite: First the Egg by Seeger
Mama's favorite: Owl Moon by Jane Yolen

But really, all of them were wonderful.

Circle Time

A part of our new routine for this year is a morning "circle time." It is a common part of Waldorf education - whether in an institution or through homeschooling. I liked the idea of taking time each morning to connect as a family and with each person, and I knew my children would enjoy any opportunity to sing songs (which is also something I wanted to incorporate more intentionally into our day.) There is a lot of different reading and blog posts about circle time, and I am sure plenty of variation on how each person does their circle time, but here is what ours looks like and why I absolutely love this new addition to our lives:

After we've eaten breakfast, gotten dressed, and are ready for the rest of the day, we all sit in a circle on our living room rug. If David is home, he joins us. We begin with our "Good Morning Song," which is a Waldorf good morning song that I learned from a friend. It signals the start of our time. (You can hear it in this YouTube video - it's the first song. I do, however, say "bees" instead of "beasts".) We do little hand movements/sign language to go with it - which they LOVE.

Good morning dear earth,

Good morning dear sun,

Good morning to the trees and the flowers every one,

Good morning to the bees,

And the birds in the trees,

Good morning to you and good morning to me

After our opening song, I read a poem. I have been choosing one poem for the week, and we read the same poem each day for the week. Last week, it was Emily Dickinson's poem, "Out of the Morning." which I found from a selection of her poems. I will probably continue with her works, both because I like them, and because her frequent nature themes are relatable to the children and correlate with our day.

We then do open songs - whatever the boys request. They usually request the same songs every morning - Dmitri requests "The lady song" (There was an old lady who swallowed a fly...), and Damon requests "The bus song" (The Wheels on the Bus). Sometimes we will sing 4 or 5 songs, other times just two, depending on our schedule for the day. We also sing a days of the week song, and we talk about what day it is. And they look out the window and describe the weather.

After our songs, we will discuss what we have on the agenda for that day. Any errands that need to be run, if we are playing with anyone or going somewhere, or if we have no plans, listening to what Dmitri and Damon would like to do that day. It helps them to know exactly what we are doing that day, since routine is important to children this age.

We close our circle time by singing the "Good Morning Song" again, which started by Dmitri's request and has just stuck. And then we have morning hugs and snuggles, where we all give each other hugs and kisses.

And that's it. It takes no more than 5-10 minutes, but the boys absolutely love it and get so excited about it. Damon will run to our rug and sit and wait as soon as he hears the words "Circle Time". It has a big impact on how we relate to each other after the busy-ness and hustle of getting ready in the morning, and has really shifted our moods as we head towards noon and the afternoon. And it's reminded me how important it is to unplug and connect with Dmitri and Damon, indivisibly.

I am sure that our Circle Time will change and evolve, and I look forward to adding more songs to our rhythm. Right now, I am loving the opportunity to just be present.

Co-Sleeping: Three Years Later

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Three years into co-sleeping, I still get a lot of questions about it. When we were pregnant with Dmitri, I did a lot of research on different methods of parenting babies, from attachment parenting to baby-wise. And while I read about many different philosophies, it really wasn't a very hard decision for us- we went with our instincts.  It just made sense to us to co-sleep, and we knew it is what our human ancestors have been doing for hundreds and hundreds of years. There were some practical considerations too - something about getting out of bed every time my baby woke up seemed like it would make breastfeeding a newborn more laborious and frustrating, plus I have a hard time falling back asleep once I've gotten out of bed. There are plenty of other reasons to co-sleep, and I'm not necessarily trying to present an argument for why one should co-sleep, but I'm sharing some of the reasons that it made sense for us.

Now, three years into it, I have a lot more knowledge and experience of what it really means to co-sleep, and not just with one, but two little ones. And so I wanted to share my experience, some of the pros and cons, and answer some questions that I hear frequently.

I am not trying offend anyone who has different parenting styles, but just sharing my experience.

Some Pros of Co-sleeping

-It makes traveling with little ones easier. We don't have to worry about bringing a pack n play, or about having enough beds. And because they sleep in our bed, they don't sleep very differently then they would at home; because very little has changed for them. We are all there together.

-All the sweet bedtime and morning snuggles. I love getting to cuddle with my kids.

-I don't have to get out of bed. Ever. This is especially nice when my children are sick or teething or have bad dreams.

-Since David is gone the majority of the littles waking hours, sleeping snuggled up next to Papa means a lot to them.

-I never have to worry about my littles at night. Which means I sleep better.

Some Cons of Co-sleeping

- There are extra people in your bed. So you have less space. (We have a King size bed, which helps a little...)

- You will most likely have to find a different location to have sex. This could be a pro or a con. I've never found it to be an issue, as we have a guest bedroom and, well, other places in our house too.

-You might not be able to leave your children for the night until they are a bit older than if they slept in a crib. David and I have never left the kids with anyone, and don't see this as an option in our immediate future either. (I have, however, left the children overnight with David a couple of times).

FAQs

Logistics - How do the four of you sleep in the bed?When Damon was a baby, we slept Damon - mama - Dmitri - papa. This requires either a guard or barrier to keep the baby from falling off. Now, we have moved Damon next to Dmitri, and they enjoy sleeping next to each other. We hope that this will make the transition into their own shared bed a little easier.

Speaking of their own bed, "Will they ever have their own bed?"
Nope. Never. Unless they move out of the house after they are 30. Then I guess I will let them have their own bed in the cabin that we will build next to our house for them.

Yeah, right. So, we plan to move them into a queen bed of their own that they can share, when they are ready. I was thinking when they are 4 & 2 and moving them together. As that approaches, I am not really feeling a rush. I know the day will come when they are ready, and we will do it then. I'm not interested in making it a traumatic event. We will also wait until we are settled, either here, or wherever we move since that is a possibility.

Does co-sleeping effect your marriage?
I'm sure it does. As does having babies and toddlers in general. I think that it makes us closer as a family. But it definitely cuts down on cuddling with just my husband. I know that we are both looking forward to having the bed to ourselves one day, but we know that this is a relatively short season in our lives and like any relationship between parents, we have to put effort into getting one-on-one quality time and we try to make this a priority when we can (although it's always a challenge.)

Does co-sleeping teach kids bad sleep habits? Do you they sleep through the night?
In my experience, my littles slept very well as newborns compared to others that I know who did not co-sleep. Both of them slept 5-6 hours straight at night within the first week. I think that this is because newborns are used to being inside of their mothers, and co-sleeping mimics the security that they knew within the womb. I think it varies from child to child as they get older. Dmitri didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old (that is, 12 hours). I know some co-sleepers do sooner, and others much later. If you let a baby cry it out, they will sleep through the night sooner, usually. At the age of 3, Dmitri goes to sleep in about 5-10 minutes and sleeps through the night for 12 hours. We've never let him cry without being comforted. Did it take longer? Yes. But did we reach the ultimate goal of having a good sleeper? Absolutely. And I felt that I accomplished this while still respecting him and his feelings, being an empathetic parent, and not going against my own instincts that its not ok for me to just let my child cry.

I've heard co-sleeping is a good form of birth control....It has not been very effective for us. And honestly, I think sex is just an excuse people give for not wanting to co-sleep. I'm convinced that we have sex just as much as anyone else with children our age, if not more, regardless of co-sleeping.

Isn't co-sleeping dangerous?
This has become an especially hot topic since a recent anti-co-sleeping campaign of billboards that are fear-based propaganda. I think that there are steps one can take to co-sleep safely. Including, 

-never leaving a baby unattended in a bed
-sleeping on a firm mattress
-not using down or fluffy blankets or having soft pillows near the baby
-never co-sleep while under the influence of drugs, including things like benadryl, and alcohol
-don't let someone who is not the child's parent sleep with the child 

There are probably more, but those are some that come to mind that we have followed. Another consideration when thinking about the safety of a child while sleeping, unfortunately, babies also die in cribs. There are many different opinions and theories on this, and I recommend parents research it for themselves. And most of all, follow what your instincts tell you. 

How do you ever sleep? I would never sleep with my kids in my bed.
There was definitely an adjustment period for us. But after a couple months, we got used to it and now we sleep just fine. David and I experienced the same thing when we got married - it takes time to adjust to having someone in the bed when you aren't used to it. But we do adapt, and I think many people underestimate their ability to do so.

So, have you ever wondered about co-sleeping? Any questions that I didn't answer?