College Graduate

My Last First Day

I cannot begin to tell you how much all of your encouraging comments meant to me. Life has been rough and tumble around here. But things are looking up. A lot of the changes that we have been implementing are definitely helping. However, we are still in transition and I think it will take a little while for our schedule to actually run smoothly.

Today is my very LAST first day of classes! It's hard to believe that my days as an undergraduate student are nearly to an end. I have a few mixed feelings about it, but mostly, I am very, very, very glad to be graduating this December.

My schedule is pretty light. I only need 3 electives to graduate, and I must say, I am incredibly excited about taking "Anthropology of Eating". UM, yes please. What better class can there be for a foodie like myself? The only downside I can see is that it's scheduled at lunchtime. I might have to bring a snack.

The Dreaded Back-to-School Post

I had planned on writing this post at the beginning of the week, when school was supposed to start. But since the natural disaster of the 10-days-in-year, frequently moniker-ed the Snowpocalypse 2011, hit the South the need for this post has been delayed by 3 1/2 days.

But unfortunately, no act of God can keep school at bay forever. *Insert sullen spewing of words that I am no longer allowed to say since my 18-month-old may have repeated one of them* Generally, I like college. I like my field of study. I like reading and writing. I've always been one of those weird kids who loved school. But the combination of motherhood, pregnancy, and college? Frankly, I'm over it. It royally sucks. It makes me hate school. And unfortunately, sometimes it makes me hate being a mother...and I don't want to feel that way about either.

I know it won't last forever. And I've obviously stuck with it this long, so I'll continue to ride it out.And I know, "it will all be worth it in the end" et cetera. But that doesn't change the day-to-day struggle that being a student mother is for me.

Sometimes, I worry that people think we've got it all together. That our lives our under control. Somehow we manage to be full-time students, part-time workers, and provide 100% of our childcare ourselves. But every day is a fight: physically, emotionally, and financially. There are a lot of tears, a lot of frustration, a maximum amount of stress, and often we fall short.

I'm not the mother that I want to be. And I'm not the student that I want to be. While doing both, I can't win at either. And that's hard for me to except.

I don't want to go back to school. But today, probably as you are reading this, I will be walking into the classroom, trekking onward through my Senior year (the eternal senior year that is dragging on and on...) I don't feel ready, but I don't have a choice.

So here is to another semester, to another set of challenges, to many more nights of writing papers and waking up early: caffeine-free, to reading academic journals while throwing balls with my son, to worrying about my water breaking in class...

Spring Semester 2011. Here I come.

Finally.

I survived finals!

It's been a rough couple weeks. This was probably one of my most intense semesters of the last four years. I'm glad it's over. And it was my last full-time semester...

Look for a happier, project-ier, Feminist Housewife over the next couple weeks, as I get to imagine what it would be like to have a life without school.

I've gone to the Habitat ReStore this morning...now off to Lowe's!

Happy Saturday!

First Day of Classes Kicked My Butt

UGA Arches {that I can walk through now that I've officially started my Senior year today!)

It's the first time I'm in class full-time since Dmitri (that aren't summer classes).

It was painful. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I cried like three times over the course of the day. Exhaustion, frustration, just tired of being in school. People remind me frequently that I have accomplished so much, to not worry that it's taking five years to graduate, that it's nothing to be ashamed of. I know that. It doesn't make me any less tired of college.

Sigh.

Time for bed.

Projects to share...tomorrow! Sorry for the delay. As usual.

Oh life, why can't you get on my schedule!

Finals: Just a Few More Hours

Summer classes will be over tomorrow....finals tonight and a final paper due tomorrow....

and then relief!

I am so ready for summer school to be over, and to have a few weeks to relax with my two boys [and of course get a few projects done!!] before back to class again. It is never ending...

A little quiet

I'm a little quiet here...

-It could be because I am spitting out massive amounts for my three classes...which will be over in just three weeks.

-Or that I'm trying to not completely freak out that my sweet not-so-little baby is turning 1! Where has the time gone? I cry every time I think about it. Seriously.

-So I'm getting ready for his party this weekend. And I'm hoping the food will be good enough to distract from my nervous breakdown.

-Maybe it's the tonsillitis and ear-infection that I'm getting over.

-Or that Dmitri has been really sick for almost a week.

-Don't forget David's sinus infection.

-And giving up caffeine was such a bad idea. At least for my productivity. I'm hoping it will have health benefits.

-Did I mention that I'm....*yawn*....sooo....sleepy?

-I'm in the middle of several house projects. None of which are actually finished.

So I'm still here. And excited to show you some amazing before & afters. I'm just in the middle, right now.

Happy Wednesday!

Maymester (aka. Feminist Boot Camp) & Childbirth

I will be finished with my Maymester on Wednesday! This is my first time taking one, and WOW, is it intense! It's like, the P90X of Feminist Theory. My professor calls it Feminist Boot Camp, and that is a pretty accurate moniker. However, it is probably my favorite class that I have taken, and I love how I've gotten to know the other students in the class. (Seeing each other 3 hours every day does that!) But, as much fun as it's been I will be relieved when it's over. I am looking forward to being able have a social life, work on house projects, blog, and spend time with the family! 

I am writing my final paper ( 8 pages) this weekend on the medicalization of childbirth from an ecofeminist perspective. I feel like such a nerd - I love writing papers (at least, on topics of interest to me). I have been thinking a lot about childbirth; it's interesting how perspectives change once one has experienced it. I'm still analyzing and critiquing my opinion, so I will hold that off for another day, but I'm really having a hard time deciding what I would do differently (and not differently) if there is a next time around. 

If you have had children, how has your perspective changed? Would you do (or have you done) things differently? (i.e. hospital, homebirth, birth center, ob or midwife, epidural, natural, c-section, etc.) (if you haven't had children yet, I would still love to hear your opinions!)

My name is Caroline, and I am a ...

What I'm about to write is not necessarily a popular topic to discuss. It makes many people squirm a little. I write this not as someone who is saying that I am superior to anyone else or to make anyone feel guilty. Rather, I am sharing my own inner conflict, thoughts, and the dialog that takes place within my heart.

I am a consumer. Whether I am openly flaunting it or guiltily denying it: I am a consumer. As much as I want to say, no, I'm not affected by advertising, by social pressures, by blogging, I am. I buy, I throw away, and eat, I waste. I look at my 96 gallon trash can that is full every week, and I feel helpless. I feel trapped. I spend money on so many "necessary" items that in actuality, aren't necessary at all. I don't need seven pillows on my bed. Nor do "have to have" matching this or that. 

I love decorating. I love remodeling. I love creating my nest. It is my creative space, my outlet, my room of my own.

But, in doing so, am I feeding the greedy monster of materialism? 

This is me accepting it. Acknowledging it. And sharing this inner turmoil with you. I know that I'm not going to stop consuming. That is the reality. But, what I can do is be more conscious about it. I need to critically analyze it, and not go about my daily life in denial. I need to make small steps daily...whether it's buying used instead of new, revamping, re-using, not using disposable, re-thinking life as I know it.

That's where I'm at. My  name is Caroline, and I am a consumer.

In which I get the cops called on me

Today was my final day of the semester. I've handed in my final portfolio and taken my last final exam. But not without being interrogated by the cops. Evidently, it's illegal to be taking finals so late in the evening (7-10 PM) and I was apprehended by a large man lurking in the shadows as I left the building (yes, it was creepy). Since I was ID-less, he had to verify that I was a student and interrogated me as to why I was in the building. Evidently, I had set off an alarm as I left. Once I was in the parking lot and free to go, I realize that there are three Police trucks with several officers in each surrounding the building. I mean, seriously, I weigh less than 100 lbs. and don't usually carry semi-automatics around. I sure hope they felt a little silly.

Who knew that taking a final was so dangerous and suspicion-arousing.

But I am relieved to be done, and not in jail.

Until Wednesday...(when I start back to classes. Not go to jail..)