I have put off summer shopping for a long time. Years, actually. Last summer, I was immensely pregnant, and severely self-conscious, so though I was "dying" as I waddled around in the 100+ degree heat, I refused to wear shorts. Before that, I wore mostly dresses and skirts.
But now, with an active 9 month old and living in a humid subtropical climate, I need a pair of shorts. Badly. So I finally stopped putting it off and went shopping.
I looked through the entire department, found the longest pair of shorts that I could and tried them on. Now, I'm not a prude, nor do I necessarily have anything against short-shorts, but I'm really not into feeling like my butt cheeks are hanging out or that I have a massive wedgie.
Failure.
Notice the wedgie in the mirror. And oh my goodness, I have such white bird legs. So, I glance around, making sure that no college students are watching and I tiptoe into the Women's department. I lithely duck behind racks as I peek at the clothing. Ah, hah, a decent pair of shorts!
Uh oh.
I'm all nice, mature, and modest, until my shorts completely FALL OFF. I have exhibitionist tendencies, but if I really wanted to show off my undies, I'd just not wear pants. The smallest size they make are only about 7 inches too big. I don't think it would be possible to take them in that much. So I give up on the shorts. And I find this...
A ONESIE!
You know you want an ass-view.
All I have to say is, WOW. Are these really going to catch on? I hear these are popular in France?
Please explain this to me!!!
Overall, shopping was a failure. But I got a few laughs, and wedgies out of it.
Edit: This all took place at Target.